My Bloodhound Ate My Bra


Who, me?  I'm innocent.  Really.
Who, me? I’m innocent. Really.

My Bloodhound ate my bra.  Chewed a hole right through it.  Luckily, the hole is at the top of the right cup, and the bra is still wearable. (What was she thinking?  Nylon smells nothing like dog cookies!).  The point is, this used to be my BEST bra. It wasn’t my usual outlet-mall-discount-rack-$5.99 special.  I shelled out serious money to buy it: A super-converter bra, strapless, backless, cross-back.  All equally supportive thanks to its advanced architecture, underwire, and the little rubber skin grippers that may have been engineered by NASA and used on the Mars Rover.  This is a seriously great bra.  You wouldn’t even think hey, she’s wearing a bra in this picture.

And then I FOOLISHLY put it in the laundry basket…

Where the hound dog seized upon it one rainy afternoon…

Darn it! But I’m not tossing the bra (yet).  I paid too much.  Plus, what are the chances of finding a second one just like it?  Shoot, I’d even settle for something similar.  In the meantime, fixing the hole in is an option.  Wearing tissue-thin T’s over a Franken-bra is not. My black James Perse razor-back is out of the question.

So I’m thinking layering… I’m thinking sweaters… and fabrics that don’t require perfectly smooth cups beneath… I’m thinking of the outlet mall.  Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll get lucky and find a Super-Bra in my size, one that will NEVER EVER see the inside of a laundry basket, or the jaws of a bored Bloodhound.


My Bloodhound Ate My Gloves… and Other News

Welcome to random Wednesday.  I have no theme, no direction, and no plan for my post today… other than I’m just going to write what’s been goin’ on.

  1. Snow cancelled mini-vacation to coast with hubby.  Bummer.
  2. We made the best of the situation by turning off computers, drinking sparkling wine from Trader Joe’s, and renting      movies.  Ate pizza, too.
  3. The next day we went out for Chinese food.  My fortune cookie fortune reads: “A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good.” The Universe has a warped sense of humor.  Shoes?!? Who is writing these things and why did I get that fortune?

    My fortune?
    My fortune?
  4. On Saturday, a couple driving an SUV honked at      us, then began waving wildly.  Did      we have a flat tire?  Was our      muffler falling off? My husband pulled over.  The people rolled up beside us and asked      if we needed our front fender fixed.       Cheap.  Really cheap. My      “accident” happened in  September,      at a garage sale (of course!), when I clipped a curbside basketball hoop.  The basketball hoop was fine, but the dent above the front wheel? A little larger than a gravy boat.   After we emptied our wallets, and scraped up the coinage in the console, this guy popped the dent with a rubber hammer and polished it up for $27.  In the parking lot.  In the rain.
  5. The tire went flat on Sunday.  Two screws.  In different spots. Darn. On the bright side, my husband dealt with it.
  6. I still love my Bloodhound even though she ate my best pair of winter gloves. My right glove has a big CHOMP at the wrist.
  7. Heard a romantic “how-we-met” story from a woman who lost her home to foreclosure.  Forced to downsize, she sold off her possessions. This guy kept  coming back, and back, buying up large lots at bargain prices.  A year later, she’s shopping in an  antique store when she comes across a booth filled with her old stuff… and the guy who bought it all. She tells him he should buy her dinner.  He does. They marry a year later.  And she gets most of her possessions back! Plus a wonderful husband! (I love this story!)
  8. Movie dialogue that resonated all too deeply  with me: “It’s everything I never wore.” (from Seeking a Friend for the End of the World)
  9.  I met a man who needed my lighted, animatronic flamingo more than I did.  “Mingo-Clingo the Flamingo” has been re-homed.

    Can I teach him to type?
    Can I teach him to type?

Now, off to go shoe shopping because my fortune demands peep-toe stacked pumps.  Just kidding. But maybe I’ll buy a new pair of leather gloves if I can’t fix the ones I have. How’s your week?